Running Down A Dream

The other day I had a friend comment on my Facebook status. He said "Good on you for doing that." My status was something about my day's exercise. I made a commitment to meet all of my exercise times this week for the triathlon training, so I have been up at 5 several times this week to bike or swim.

I told him that, for me, this was less about the exercise and more about reclaiming a little bit of my youth.

When I was younger, my parents never drove me anywhere. If I wanted to go somewhere, I would ride my bike. I rode to and from school each day (three miles or so each way). I rode my bike to a friend's house. And every Saturday I rode as part of a cycling group (roughly 25 miles). I cannot begin to consider how many miles I rode before I got my driver's license.

Once I got my license, I put the bike away for good. Hard to pick up girls for a date on my ten-speed.

Same goes for swimming. I swam in the summers as a kid. Every day I spent hours and hours in the pool. When I went to college I joined the swim team. But those days are long gone.

So here I am running, swimming, and biking, just like a kid again. And it is even becoming fun! I love riding through the city streets, weaving in and out of traffic. I love swimming in the pool, feeling the water pour past my ears. I even love running (what the hell?????). It feels like I am reclaiming a little bit of what I left behind when I became "too cool for all that kids stuff".

And I am losing weight! I am down two pants sizes and a shirt size. I am back down to a size that I was just after college. Crazy.

I wonder what other childhood items I can reclaim. I would say comics, but I never really lost that. I think I am going to avoid the Star Wars action figures. Emmy would kill me if I took up another collection. Chronic masturbation was always fun as a kid, but I got married so I wouldn't have to do that any more. So I think I will skip that too.

Maybe I will go find a really high tree to climb. Or develop an art skill that I have always ignored. Or finally have Don Johnson's fashions from Miami Vice.

Or, maybe I will try something new: being satisfied with where I am and what I have. Hmmmm. There's a concept.

HNT/Thursday Mirage - Midnight Madness

There is something about a midnight movie that brings out the best in everyone. Maybe it is the shared experience of seeing a movie that everyone has seen a million times before. Maybe it is the inevitable arrival of the people in costumes. Or it could be the combination of cold beer and sleep deprivation. Whatever it is...it is magic.

We left the movie a little after two in the morning. The warm summer breeze that had been so oppressive during the day kept the night pleasant and warm. We walked arm in arm down the dark street to where the car was parked.

We slid in to the black leather interior and the lights slowly dimmed. I leaned over and kissed you as you settled in to your seat and fastened the belt. You kissed me back, our tongues meeting. You tasted of popcorn, beer, and summer.

Our kisses became more passionate. I turned in my seat and faced you fully. My hand found its way to your hair My other hand found its way to your back. We kissed some more. Just as my hand slipped from your back and around to the buttons on your blouse, we heard more people coming along the sidewalk. Just our luck, they chose our car to be near as they stopped for a smoke.

We looked at each other, the disappointment clear on our faces in the dim light. I started the car and pulled out.

Driving through the quiet streets, I caught glimpses of you in the streetlights. Your silky hair. Your long legs visible under your short skirt. Your cleavage that drives me crazy.

I slid my hand from the gear shift on to your thigh. It was warm and soft. I started to stroke it softly. You smiled at me and shifted a bit in your seat. I stroked higher, enjoying the new area of exposed leg. Soon I was rubbing higher. I could feel your pussy, so warm and inviting through your silky underwear. I was so caught up in what I was doing with your leg, that I missed the car stopped in front of us. If you had not pointed it out, the night would have ended poorly.

You took my hand from your leg and put it back on the steering wheel. Then you shifted in your seat again and pulled your skirt up around your waist. Your fingers disappeared under the band of your underwear. I could make out the familiar circular motion of your fingers on your clit.

As we drove home, the car began to smell of your sex. Your hips were moving more and more and your head was thrown back, exposing your pulse in your neck. Your heart was beating fast and a soft moan escaped your lips. Before I knew it, your body shuddered as you orgasmed under the lights of Hawthorne street.

When you came down from your high, you looked at me and smiled. Your eyes drifted down to my bulging crotch. "Keep your hands at ten and two," you said as you slowly undid my zipper. For the rest of the way home you played with me until you finished me off in the warm seclusion of our driveway.

I can't wait for next month's midnight movie.

Weird Wednesday

Today was one of those days that could be described as "A Tale of Two Garbonzo's". It was the best of days. It was the worst of days.

I started the day at 5 am. Yes, that's right. I was up at 5 am. I figured I would get up early and head down to the pool to get my laps in. I have been working my way back in to swim shape. the first couple of times in the pool have been pretty tiring. But this morning the laps came pretty easily. I managed to swim a half mile without stopping! I followed that up with 12 more lengths using just my arms. It was a good start to the day.

Later in the morning I headed over to Odin's house for some podcasting fun. While we were chatting, I decided that what we really needed was a Flikr feed for our site. However, since my comic site is linked to this site via a common email address, it meant that people viewing my Flikr pics for the comics could come across some of the pics from this site. So, I did what anyone who has no idea what they were doing would do: I deleted the album that was linked to this blog.

Little did I know that would delete all the pictures on this blog. So, in case you haven't noticed, all the pics on the blog (including my header) are gone! With almost 500 posts, I think it is a lost cause to go back and put them all back. I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. If you want to send me some pics to replace them, I won't complain.

After cursing and swearing my way through that nightmare, Odin and I went for a bike ride. Odin is trying to get back in shape after a severe motorcycle accident. He likes to get out on his bike every so often. He is hoping to get back in to good enough shape to start running again (he used to run up to 12 miles a day). So, we went for a pleasant bike ride to and from lunch. Powering up the hills helped take the sting out of my blog mishap.

Unfortunately, instead of ending the day on a positive note, my neck started to stiffen up. Every so often I get a pinched nerve in my neck. I get stuck, unable to turn or lift my head. Hopefully it will be minor and go away (or at least decrease in severity) over night. I am thinking that a cold beer and a warm heating pad might just be the trick.

But, things are starting to look up. I just remembered that I have a new HNT erotica post for tomorrow!!! Woo Hoo!

Off to find beer and half naked pictures!

Packed Day

Today turned out to be much more productive than I anticipated. While I had big plans for the day, they almost got derailed before they began. I woke up this morning a little before 2 because I heard a noise.

Having the chickens has made me hyper-vigilant about the noises that come from outside the house. This noise was different than the usual noises that surround us, so I was worried. I sprang out of bed, adrenaline pumping, only to find that the noise was not coming from outside, but from the adjacent bathroom; probably just a dog scratching or having a dream.

But, that was the end of sleep for me. My heart was pumping and m mind was racing...and it was too quiet. Don't know why, but last night was incredibly still. We live close to a freeway and two fairly major roads. while it is never too loud, we never fully escape the sounds of the city. but, last night it was deathly silent. Not a good space for a guy who can't sleep and can't shut off his mind.

So, after tossing and turning for half an hour or so, I headed out to lay on the couch and catch up on the internet. I visited all the blogs I used to frequent. A couple were now defunct, not having had posts in several months, one or two had changed formats, but most were basically where I had left them. It was nice to settle in with old "friends" and catch up.

I sent a few emails, watched a few videos, and tried to will myself to go to sleep. The other thing that bothered me was the I WAS STARVING!!! I tried to resist. The weight loss has stalled for me, and it is due to my eating. I really didn't want to eat. but I was really hungry. So I had some yogurt with agave nectar on it. I can think of many other things that I could have eaten that would have been much worse for me. So, in the end, I guess it didn't turn out that bad.

A little after 5 I crawled back in to bed and forced myself to get some sleep. I woke up around 8:30 and got may day started.

I took the garbage can down to the curb and waited. I knew there was a better than fair chance that the can would not get picked up. This weekend we hauled the container of dog poop from the back yard (where we had been tossing the dog bombs for the better part of a year) to the front and deposited it in the garbage can. It was heavy...and smelly. The garbage man rolled up about 15 minutes later. He tried once to lift the can, shook his head, and got out the scale. When I went out later, there was a little note on my can. 135 pounds!!!! That is a lot of poop!!! Now I am stuck with the problem of what to do with it all? I think when Mexi gets back from visiting his family, he and I are going to make a late-night visit to the dumpster across the street.


I had two contractors coming over in the morning to look at the gutters in the back of the house and give me an estimate. I decided to man up and admit that I am more "Tim Taylor" than "Handy Manny" when it comes to home repairs. I asked both contractors to give me a bid on replacing a small overhang I have on the deck as well. The adventurous Garbonzo says, "How hard can it be? You've already built a chicken coop and three rain barrels. Go for it!" Realistic Garbonzo says, "Seriously? Haven't you already pushed your luck enough? Do you want to go and screw up another project? Do you want to injure yourself more?"

So I am waiting for the bids to come in. I am pretty sure I am going to go with the first contractor, He was much more professional and seemed to know what he was doing. The second guy looked and acted hung over. He was completely unprepared. I had called a third and fourth contractors, but they never got back to me. I hate not having multiple competent bids. But, I want this project finished so I can finish installing the rain barrels.

Did you see my rain barrels? They are awesome! Check out Emmy's blog for rain barrel fun.

I took the girls to the chiropractor with me, then headed over to a video production studio. I have a box of old 8mm films that my Grandfather shot prior to WWII. My dad got some transferred to DVD a year ago and it was amazing to see history unfold before my eyes. There were shots of Hong Kong from 1939 that would amaze you. I can't wait to see what is on these old reels. There were close to twenty reels of film in the box, so who knows what adventures await!!

Back home I made lunch, finished sealing the spigots on the rain barrels, and answered some email. Then it was time for the next adventure: washing the dogs. I swear that we have a yellow lab and a black lab. But the two dogs I took to get washed were both brown. If I haven't mentioned it before, I am a cat person. They clean themselves. But, the girls were very excited to take the dogs to get washed (at a local do-it-yourself place) so I figured, why not? I let the girls do all the cleaning. The dogs went along with it, and I ended up only smelling marginally of wet dog. Bob and Harry are back to being their respective colors and rolling in the dirt. (And crapping all over the lawn!!!)

Daughter #2 is grounded from her bike for a week (Emmy caught her riding in the street again), which means that I am grounded from running. The girls usually chase me on their bikes. Since i have not been terribly diligent about my triathlon training, I decided to go for it this week and make sure that I got in all my training sessions. So I hopped on the elliptical and really pushed myself. I did 5.5 miles in 45 minutes at level 14 on the Pike's Peak setting (all up hill until the very end). According to the calorie counter (which Hubman will explain is always way off) I burned 858 calories. That is about 350 more calories than I normally burn on the elliptical. It was a good workout, and a great start to my exercise week. Tomorrow the girls go to the sitter for the day. I am off to the pool to swim. I need to get myself swimming a half mile straight (right now I stop a few times) in addition to doing some arm and leg work.

So, the day is almost over. Emmy just got home. I almost have dinner ready. I can finally sit down, relax, and enjoy what is left of the day. And then hopefully sleep!!!!

See you tomorrow.

Not So Good in the 'Hood

I feel bad. I got my neighbor evicted.

This is not the first neighbor we have had evicted (living in an "up and coming" neighborhood means that we have had our share of criminal activities to deal with over the years). But, this is the first neighbor that has been evicted that I genuinely have mixed feelings about.

Woody had been our neighbor for seven years or so. He moved in to the apartment next door and seemed like a nice enough guy. He was polite to us, generous to the kids, and only slightly eccentric. He liked to go to auctions and regularly came home with vehicles which he would fix up and sell. He like luxury cars, Cadillacs especially, and you would often see him out fixing them up and showing them off to potential buyers.

Our only real complaint was the fireworks. While Woody liked to celebrate the 4th of July with an impressive fireworks display, he also liked to celebrate just about any occasion with fireworks. It would be eleven o'clock at night and we would be woken up by loud explosions. I finally talked to him about it because he was waking up our infant daughter.

Something happened to Woody a few years ago. We are not quite sure what. His health deteriorated and we didn't see much of him. The cars stopped being sold. People were coming and going at all hours of the day and night. Eventually Woody recovered. However, something had changed. Instead of buying cars, Woody started buying EVERYTHING. His apartment filled up. He rented out all three of the garages attached to his complex. He stated having "garage sales" every weekend where he showed off the new items he purchased that week. He built a covered awning so that he could have garage sales year-round. He built a twenty foot long storage tent between our properties to store the over-run from the garages and his apartment. He started stacking boxes of stuff in his back yard.

All that was in addition to the shanty he built in the front yard. He erected a tent on top of the AstroTurf he laid down. He then filled the yard with fountains, sculptures, and all sorts of baubles. A friend was visiting us one day and she asked who the 75 year old woman was who lived next to us. It was that bad.

Finally we had had enough. The covered awning was attracting drug dealers who liked the darkness and protection from elements and cops. Woody had a couple of break ins. Stuff was disappearing from his property (and ours) fairly regularly. And the front-yard shanty was a horrible eye-sore.

So I called my friend, the FLM, who works for the city. I asked him if there was something I could do. The FLM must have been bored that day, because ten minutes later, my email was full of an impressive list of code violations. Everything from the number of days one can have a garage sale (bot consecutively and in a given time frame) to the construction of structures for the storage of merchandise to be sold on the property.

So, I took the list, handed it to Emmy (because she was REALLY frustrated), and she submitted it to the city. In addition, we gave the list to another neighbor who had been feeling the same way.

I figured the owner of the apartment would talk to Woody about it and he would clean up his act.

I was wrong.

The owner decided to evict Woody. We heard through our neighbors that Woody was to be out by July 1st. I was pretty happy. I mean, I didn't hate the guy. But I was glad that the mess was going to go.

But a funny thing happened. July 1st kept getting closer and closer and Woody's garage sales just kept happening. There were new items showing up. His apartment was as full as ever. The shanty was still in tact. By July 1st the only thing that had changed was a small sign at the garage sale that indicated it was now a moving sale.

A few days later the Sheriff showed up. He gave Woody the eviction notice.

I would like to say that it is all over. However nothing has changed. Woody is still there. There is still stuff everywhere. It would take an army of movers close to a week to get all the stuff packed and loaded. The real question is: Does Woody even have some place to go?

Like I said, I don't hate the guy. I didn't even want him to leave. I just wanted it all to be better.

Be careful what you wish for. Now I just have to wait and see how it all plays out. Something tells me this is not going to end well...for Woody.

A Wii For Her

The commercial is in French, but I think the message is universal. Slightly NSFW at the end...but oh so funny.

The 4th of July

Instead of the patriotic reminders that so many others have done (and so much better than could possibly do), I have decided to take a different tack. See, believe it or not, plenty of other things have happened on the 4th of July!

To get the big one out of the way, Barry White died on this day in 2003. With a combined sales of over 100,000,000 albums, I think it is safe to say that Barry White is (at least partially) responsible for the births of several people of my generation. His talent is truly missed.


In addition to that sad passing, three American Presidents passed away on July 4th: John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe. Adams is famous for having said on his death bed, "Thomas Jefferson survives." Little did he know that Jefferson had passed away a few hours before him. Guess no one really wanted to give him the bad news.

On this date in 1845, Henry David Thoreau began his two year, two month, and two day experiment in simple living at Walden pond. In strange coincidence, just about the time Walden was leaving his self-imposed exile, a different book, espousing an entirely different way of life, was published half way around the world: The Communist Manifesto. The Communist Manifesto was and continues to be MUCH more popular than Thoreau's book. While the Marx's book eventually led to a massive political uprising, Thoreau's book has only recently come to be regarded as a classic. The Communist Manifesto is read throughout the world, while Walden is relegated to Freshman survey classes. Want to truly celebrate America today? Pick up a copy of Walden and start a new revolution.

In 1833, Rube Goldberg was born. I think he is the only person who could make something even more complex than I can.

Both Dear Abby and Anne Landers were born on the 4th of July. So was Calvin Coolidge, Louis Armstrong, George Steinbrenner, and Neil Simon. For the tween set, Malia Obama was born on the 4th of July.


In 1966, Lyndon Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act, which every politician since has regretted. While they still try to black out "sensitive" information, it is a real testament to our country that the government is forced to share information with its citizens. Just one more way that we make sure that ours is a government "of the people, by the people, for the people". Now if they will just answer my letters (without all the black lines!) requesting information about Area 51!

In 1970 we kept our feet on the ground and kept reaching for the stars because Casey Kasem hosted American Top 40 on the radio for the first time. Is there anything more American than Top 40 radio and Casey Kasem? I cannot tell you how many Saturdays I spent listening to American Top 40. In the days before I could afford a walkman, Top 40 radio ruled my weekends. There was even a TV series.


And, in 1997, we extended our American ingenuity beyond our planetary confines. On July 4th, 1997, the Mars Pathfinder was the first spacecraft to land on Mars in over 20 years. They are still looking for W.M.D.'s (Weapons of Martian Destruction) but I am sure that they will find them soon! There is no way that those little green men have our best interests in mind!


So, go out, celebrate this day. We live in a great country with great freedoms and a pretty colorful history. But, why not celebrate all the fun things that make up the 4th of July? Why limit yourselves to the signing of one piece of paper? I mean...was it really that big of a deal? (I kid...I kid)